+Monday, January 04, 2010+
this place has probably been a place for mi to vent my frustration
my heart inevitably feels the pinch when i hear that he actually give something to ms x. though it is something free, but it is really the thot that counts isnt it. all i received from him is a box of sweets. that's all. as compared to wat ms x has received, it's really nothing.
i suddenly feel that i have lost something which was once precious to me. he is not longer yours, he will no longer bug u on msn, no longer ask u out, no longer msg you, no longer ask how is ur stomach, no longer tease mi, no longer wait for mi to finish up my work and head home together, no longer introducing mi to good places to eat.... have i given him out to someone else?
i seriously dunno when i can get over this, it's a real misery to me. i seriously dunno how ms x is feeling towards him though she mentioned that she will not like him ever. but i kept wondering, if she has no feelings for him, would she still give him gifts even if he gives ? would she continue to talk to him even though she knows that he is a lan ren and he is my ex? why doesnt she make it clear to him ? well, it is her freedom of friends, i can interfere much. I am in delimma. I wan to know how is their degree of friendship now, whether do they still talk often on msn, do they actually go out together ?? on the other hand, i dread knowing what he has said to her. i dread hearing what he has done/said to me in the past being repeated to ms x.
I dun hate both of them, cos i know hating someone will make mi more miserable. I know somethings cannot be forced. What's yours is yours. but then why do i still feel so miserable now?
if i know this process is tough, i would not step into it at all. Pain....
.mmei huii bloggedd @ 7:19 PM.
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