+Tuesday, June 24, 2008+
exams done!!!! and i have been slacking lately, doing some sai gang for px and joan ... machaim their Fatimah liao.. lolz ....
hm..started to feel a bit she be de to leave melb.. sob sob.......... i seriously like staying alone over here, i like snoozing til noon, i like to manage my own time, i like the tranquility over here, i like my private space over here..
leaving this place for good..... makes mi sad!!! sob.... though my friends, my family, my future lies in singapore...
Joyce asked mi a qn a couple of months ago... she said, mh do u ever thought of working in melb..
and i replied no becos all my friends and family are in singapore and i dunno how racist the ppl here might be.. so i am afraid.........
i guess i would go back for a few years first... if i am sick of singapore le... i might come over here to work. yeah.... overcome my fears and face the challenge...
miracles do happen!!! hm.. jus like how i have survived 2 years over here. Although there are tough times, but i somehow manage to overcome it.... (thank god!!!!) these 2 years are like a dream to me....
i remembered 2 years back, making this decision takes a lot of courage!After making this decision i don't dare to reconsider, i kept making myself real busy to numb myself, i went to send joan and px off (who left one week before mi)... and i cried harder than anyone else in the airport... hm..not becos i missed them, i couldnt imagine myself leaving my parents jus like they do...
During the 2 years...
i work hard, i knew that there is no turning back.... When i am sick, i dun call home, when i am down i dun call home, i wept secretly over here... becos i knew that the decision i have made means that i have to take care of everything all by myself. Staying afar from my family, i reminded myself that i must not make them worry and hence i acted strong and independent in front of them.... I dreamt of myself being in singapore very often and feeling disappointed when i woke up in the morning realising that i am still in melb. I feel sad whenever it comes to my bday, i cried hard when my reunion dinner is ruin.....
But nevertheless, i am thankful for having such a learning experience, i am thankful that i managed to survive. I have seen different faces of ppl, i learnt to accept, to compromise. I learnt to take care of others when i am abroad, i learnt to be more generous.
Going to another stage of my life le... feeling jittery..... though i would be working with the same colleagues, but there is something i muz bear in mind... " ppl might not treat mi the same like when i was an intern"... ppl starts demanding for things.... faces changed... how scary..... anyway jus have to learn to be stronger....
.mmei huii bloggedd @ 7:27 PM.
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